are we dating?

I just realized that the whole interview process is very much like dating. but more formal:

There's the whole insecurity thing: do i dare put myself out there? well I'll never know, so here's my application
There's the passive - aggressive thing: we sell ourselves, the firm sells themself, we get invited to dinner, we don't hear anything afterwards
There's the potential of the asshole: self-explanatory, no? (see previous post re: forwarded rejection)
There's the uncertainty: do you like me? do I like you? do I want to work for you? how much do you want me?
There's the fear of rejection: also self-explanatory - i rarely ever want to check my mail or phone messages these days
There's the phone tag: in this day and age where NO ONE picks up the phone at work, you leave a message, I leave a message, I pray to god that I did not make a mistake and call the wrong firm
There's the etiquette question: I just emailed the firm thanking them for dinner, hoping that I'll hear from them and see them again. now are they going to call in 3 days?

the question is: when do we commit? perhaps I'm jumping the gun. I'm still waiting for a second date.

*sigh* - as is life isn't complicated enough

glutton for punishment

So for as long as I have known myself (and that's a pretty long time), I have pretty much always wanted to work in public interest. And NOW, something has happened. I've turned into a corporate rat wannabe. and subjecting myself to rejection. I've decided that I am an ass. If I were my friend, I would tell myself that I am an ass. and these law firms are totally sketch. I was talking to a lawyer at one firm, and he told me that he practices environmental and aboriginal law, which i thought was totally cool. Then he tells me that his clients want to do two things: cut down trees and pay someone to do it. so his job is to find out which aboriginal group he has to pay to cut down trees. I was shocked (although my face still had a smile plastered on it). I mean, he basically told me that his job is to facilitate the desecration of the environment by paying someone off to shut up about it. I am completely horrified that these people exist, and I don't even care about the environment! and then I'm hearing about people getting rejected via PHONE! I'm now scared to answer my phone AND check my mail. everytime I get a letter, I freak out - but so far, they have all been confirmations. It's like they're toying with us. If we don't die of a heart attack, then maybe they'll interview us.

on another note, I receieved my first Vancouver PFO (Please Fuck Off) yesterday from a firm, who COULDN'T EVEN BOTHER to send me a letter. No. the rejection was done via a FORWARDED email! she couldn't even bother to copy and paste! I was so offended (not by the rejection, but by the method). I made the effort to print out my stuff on nice paper, mail it to you and even printed out a label for the envelope! The least you could do is reject me with a piece of paper so I can crumble it up and throw it at you (or at something - don't want to burn any bridges). *sigh* they obviously don't know that I'm vintage YSL. where were they when the press release came out????

AND! my hair is so long now that i can't see through my bangs (aka fringe for you UK readers out there) so I have a clip holding them back. This not only accentuates the fact that I have no forehead, but now my forehead also feels cold. ugh.

PFO Count:
Vancouver: 1
Toronto: 6
Outstanding: 22

Listening to: Tribe called Quest: Can I Kick it?

Did you know...

that every time you hold my hand, i get little flutters that ripple through my entire body?