great east coasters

So i'm in new york city visiting friends and my cousin, after a quick whistle stop trip to toronto. Had a blast at home with the family, and even went golfing with my sister's kids. a couple of revelations while there:

vivian: look! a cow!
me: i love cows. my friend susanne grew up with a cow. it apparently drank beer. It's great! She "had a cow."
mom: when i was growing up, we had 20 cows. we used them for ploughing, and we used to ride them.
garrick: WOW! my grandma knows how to ride a cow!
meredith: how do you ride a cow? did it like it?
mom: yeah. they were happy!
viv: so you grew up riding happy cows?

later on that day...

me: natalie, how old are you now?
nat: 4
me: wow. how did you get so big
she looks at me very matter of factly
nat: i drink a lot of milk
me: (suppressing a laugh) oh, i see
nat: oh! and I eat stuff too!
me: what do you like to eat? what's your favourite?
nat: um.....bar-b-q chicken.

that was toronto. now i'm in new york, staying in SoHo with my cousin. amazing location. I have been hanging out with my good friend anne who i met in first year at western. i'm actually writing this at the New School library where she is a student. it's been fun. yesterday we hung out in the east village and had some really good and cheap indian food, and then went back to hers in brooklyn (park slope) and made dinner, and her fiance and her proceeded to explain to me the difference between phenomenologism and existentialism (very different), compared to classical greek understandings of man. and Anne has found the solution to finding a job:

Me: so you have to take a language for your degree, yes?
anne: yeah, we both took french last year. But I'm thinking about taking ancient greek because it will get me a job.
me: sorry, did you just say that knowing ancient greek will get you a job??? i don't think i've EVER heard anyone say that.

these philosophers...geez...

am headed to magnolia bakery in the west village and then the met and the park this afternoon, and then meeting with Henry tomorrow! YAY! i've realized that I need to find a way to keep an apartment here. *sigh* one day.

I'm a vintage YSL dress!!!!

There are times in life when i think everything just sucks and descend into that evil circle of self-doubt. and that's when i realize that I have some of the best people in the world in my life. there's adam, who took it upon himself to distract me with getting lost in stanley park and today, a swim and taking out some agression on some small white balls, followed by sushi and brandy. and there's shu and ro who have listened for hours upon hours about my neurotic worries and concerns; teaching me to let go and to trust. and then there's shay, who just totally made my day due to this exchange:

cat: I don't know sharon, i think i'm great but maybe I'm just not that great.
shay: of course you are! you can't let someone determine your worth.
cat: no seriously, i mean, x is a pretty level headed person. if they don't think i'm great, then maybe i'm not
shay: ok. remember when you were in high school and you had the hair flip which you thought was totally cool and the cheap but trendy clothes that made you fit in, but in hindsight just made you look like everyone else and was actually worn in really bad taste?
cat: unfortunately, I do
shay: and then one day you saw that prada dress? that perfect dress. and you wanted it soooo badly. but part of you was scared because it was so beautiful, and part of you felt like you didn't deserve it? and basically you just didn't know what to do with it because you were so young and naive?
cat: hell yeah.
shay: well, that's exactly what's going on here
cat: what the hell are you talking about?
shay: You're the prada dress!!!!!! and x needs to learn how to appreciate it!

adam and I were talking about it afterwards, and I think that I'm more like a vintage yves st. laurent dress. I'm definitely vintage: classy, timeless, appreciate with age. and as shu pointed out, YSL goes SO MUCH FURTHER than Prada. she concurs - I'm DEFINITELY vintage YSL. and she would know. she's my fearless leader.

yes, i know, I have the best friends in the world.

Oh and shu? HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! i'm cookin' next time i'm in london :)

mood: going on up
listening to: Lou Reed - talk a walk on the wild side

i think i get it.

I think she is me, circa 2003. i think i get it now. doesn't necessarily bode well, but hey, getting there, getting there...

in other news, my job is over and I don't know what to do with myself (other than sit on my couch reading the paper and debating what colour to paint my apartment). My parents have been bugging my incessantly about going home prior to new york, but for some reason, as much as that appeals to me (I do love my family), the thought makes me feel anxious and rushed. I am NOT mentally prepared to be away for 2 weeks or to stop over in Toronto. Not a big deal, i know, but for some reason, I have this mental block. And it's not like I have a lot to do in vancouver (aside from certain wooing activities, but then again, i think a break would do us both good)...more like I need time to figure out my head. Of course, going away would solve all my issues of having nothing to do. I'm suffering from lethargy-activity disease: I get up and read the paper with my coffee and then just hang out puttering around. then I feel guilty about doing nothing productive, so I look at my list of "things to do". when I finally decide on something, I'm so lethargic that I can't bear the thought of doing something. THe only thing I've really kept up with are my yoga classes, but of course, I go on and injure my hamstring. *sigh*

ok. i'll post a happier entry next time.

mood: neither here nor there.
listening to: Kinnie Star - Alright

must...stop...procrastinating

3 days until my contract ends...3 days until this is over...as much as I have enjoyed my job, I can't wait until I can chill at the beach and catch a sunset. I'm sitting here trying to write my final report - a 20 page manifesto of what I have read the past month and my thoughts on it. But what to make of language like "we are seeing the incipient formation of a type of authority and state practice that entails a partial denationalizing of what had been constructed historically as national." WTF??? and they say saskia sassen is a genius. Perhaps it just takes language that no one understands to be called as such. moan moan moan

OH! Trainspotting was on tv earlier. It reminds me of my "trainspotting dream" I once had when I was in trainspotting (hence why it's called my "trainspotting dream"). Anyway, in my dream, mark (ewan), sick boy (so hot), and I are in that room shooting up. and as I enter my supposed "high", george clooney comes in. And I have this amazing scottish accent, in which I'm cursing like there's no tomorrow, and everytime I say "fuck", it sounds like "fook" and george is there and IT IS ALL GOOD. and then I woke up.